Saturday, October 23, 2010

Jersey Shore Season Finale Recap: Adios, Miami

After some skirmishes but a lack of fireworks, the second season of Jersey Shore went out with a thud. Not really a bang. Pauly D didn't even try to get it in!
There was a trip to the swamp, a feud between friends, a last hurrah at the club, and a great line or two, but "Back Into the Fold" was more filler than finale.
Below, THG breaks down the top Jersey Shore quotes and scenes from last night's Season 2 finale in its patented +/- recap. Aww yeah, last recap YEAH!!
At the Glades
They really dragged this season of Jersey Shore out.
The gang heads to the Everglades. MTV is really milking the Florida thing. Minus 5.
Sitch scares JWoww with his frog legs. We mean actual dismembered frog parts, not his own legs, which are frog-like compared to that HGH-enhanced chest. Plus 4.
The restroom tryst starring the Situation during the last night at the club might have set the sanitary bar lower than ever. Not a small feat for Jersey Shore. Minus 6.
After two mediocre, Jon Gosselin-caliber girls approach Vinny about a threesome, he breaks it down as such: "Okay, they're not the prettiest girls in the world, but mix two grenades and it might make one good-looking girl." Plus 11.
Sam: "I like to be with my boyfriend at all times. Do you get that?" Scary. Minus 3.
Pauly D: "I'm not going to smash it out with Rocio before I leave. Umm, it's not that kind of chick. I don't need to." No, it is definitely not that kind of chick. Wash.
Pauly D and JWoww Fight
Pauly D is right. Youse are all f*%kin' nuts man.
The Situation brings the drama in the second half of the episode, bagging on people for no reason and acting like he's the $h!t. Dude, it's getting a tad old. Minus 10.
After JWoww calls him fake, Sitch says she's fake. Pauly appears to nod. Snooki takes this as an insult and tells her BFF, who confronts Pauly. So high school. Plus 2.
This whole thing gets a Minus 3 overall, because while we always can respect things getting heated, it's cliched at this point, and all stems from Mike being a prick.
At the club, Sammi asks Ron, "Why are you with me?" "I'm in love with you," he says. "Why? I can't help the way I feel." Basically, Ron-Ron's better judgment might say otherwise, but a girl who will put up with anything is hard to find. Plus 8.
JWoww and Mike
Snooki weeps as the cast says its goodbyes for like a few weeks.
Frightened, Snooki storms off in tears, believing everyone hates her now, and starts pack her bags to leave ... which she was going to do anyway. Plus 5.
Mike, good guy he is, explains to Snooki that everyone loves her and no one has any hatred towards her. Unless he wants to leave the club first. Minus 3.
With Mike scooping her up over his shoulders, Snooki's coo-ca shows for the 100th time, hugs are exchanged, and fences are mended. Mostly. Hey, we have to have the tension lingering when things move back to Jersey this winter. Plus 10.
Until Season Three begins ...

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