Saturday, October 30, 2010

Nick Cannon Escorts Mariah Down From Her Giant Heels, Introduces Her To Flats

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After she confirmed yesterday that she does in fact have a bun in the oven, we immediately started fantasizing about the plunging necklines and clinging fabrics of Mariah Carey’s inevitably fabulous maternity wear. Husband Nick Cannon, however, dreams only of getting Mariah out of heels and into flats. At first, we didn’t approve of the idea. Would you paint a rainbow a sensible beige? Would you have a peacock put on a conservative blazer? Then why make Mariah Carey walk on the ground with the rest of us mortals when she should be 4-to-6 inches higher than everyone else?  But then we realized…if Nick doesn’t intervene early, Mariah will be nine months pregnant and still teetering precariously on 5-inch Jimmy Choos. So we’re willing to consider it.
Explained Cannon on his radio show with Mariah as a call-in guest, “I go into the closet searching for some flats for my wife … She got a lot of damn shoes — it’s like a frickin’ Macy’s. [And] Mariah Carey does not own one pair of flat shoes.” Mariah sensibly pointed out, “To be fair, I had some boots from Aspen, some Dior boots.” But Nick wasn’t going to let Carey get away with seeming like less of a diva than she really is:  “Ski boots!”, he exclaimed. This story is confirming every fabulous, insane thing we always  suspected about Mariah…and we could not be happier.
Admitted Carey, “And then we did find some flats and then they were a regular ballet slipper, like a beige, and I was like, ‘I don’t think so.’” Why not just put a garbage bag on your foot at that point, we’d argue. Nick was pretty pleased with himself for helping with the wardrobe transformation: “Basically, I got Mariah Carey, the high-heel queen, to put on some flats. And this is amazing. I’m going shoe shopping today, needless to say, to buy you some flat shoes.” We wouldn’t get too cocky, Nick. God only help you if Mariah finds out they make heels for babies now. [Photo: Splash News Online]

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