Mistress of Gordon Ramsay Pens Letter to Wife of Gordon Ramsay

Forget Hell's Kitchen. Celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay is living through Hell's Bedroom.
An affair between the reality TV star and fame-mongering mistress Sarah Symonds came to light this summer, mostly because the latter announced her plans to write a book about the relationship. (She's already the author of "Having An Affair? - A Handbook for the Other Woman.")
Now, Symonds has taken the unusual, hilarious, condescending step of actually reaching out to Tana Ramsay, Gordon's scorned wife.

In an open letter on her website, Symonds refers to herself as an "Infidelity Analyst" and tells Tana to "stand up for herself." It gets so much better:

I come to offer you my support with much credibility Tana, as, after my affair with your husband was exposed, I've worked extremely hard to reform myself. Now, as the first and only Infidelity Analyst in the world, I use my intimate inside knowledge (and lessons learned by my mistakes of the heart) to help women everywhere live in the truth.

I especially help wives all over the world by mentoring them on how NOT to be used and humiliated by their husbands, especially celebrity ones who think they can have it all. So, hand on heart, I write to you here today with all good intentions, because after reading - along with the rest of the world - all that is being said about you by Gordon, and by your father, I really feel for you.

I mean, it cannot be easy for a woman like you to be perceived by both of them as SO weak, and so easy to manipulate... Regain some self-respect and dignity and [do] not let your man/men treat you as a weaker individual. After all, men (whoever they are) will ONLY walk all over you IF YOU LET THEM!

Hear that, ladies? You can trust Sarah Symonds, too. She's been with a lot of married men.